Our Crafty Squirrels

Every individual that has a bird feeder has squirrel stories. I have always liked the one about a neighbor who decided to hook his dangling feeder to a motor so that when a certain amount of weight, in the form of a squirrel landed on the platform, the motor would be turned on and the entire contraption would spin wildly. The squirrel would be expelled by a centrifugal force only found on astronaut training vehicles. They would hold on, their little toothy faces distorted, with great determination but in the end they were tossed far and wide like sock squirrels.

I suspect this method was more a form of entertainment for the owner but then, in my world, both are fair game.

I also appreciate the greasing of the metal pole that holds the feeding platform. The squirrels mount the pole with great anticipation only to find there is not traction and then slide hopelessly downward. Not only are they discouraged but also covered in whatever form of grease was used. The grease part of this is also a deterrent to breeding as the mate is rumored to be very turned off by the odor and implications of bear grease. Again a two for one.

We have not been as lucky because, I suspect, we don't have the commitment. The squirrels have found that they can actually jump some ten feet horizontally to our hanging feeder landing with a great fanfare, swinging wildly on the suspended trough. In minutes, they fill their gullets and launch off in soulful bounding leaps.

A few days ago Ann noticed that the lughead of a squirrel had found out how to get the suet, which I didn't even know they liked. The suet is nothing but animal fat and is intended to feed wintering bug-eaters like Nuthatches. Squirrels are nut eaters. Oh well, in the world of beef production, they are feeding cattle left over animal parts, including cattle offal. However, The squirrels have a choice. I want no part of either. I wish they would stick to seeds and nuts. Even the art work will not keep this one away.