The Yard Tractor
For someone who depends on solar power
to provide electricity, the last couple of months have been real losers
(excluding the last week or so). It has to be admitted none of this poor
performance is my doing so the “loser” term cannot be dumped on me for this
one. First off, somebody made the earth tilt so the angle of the sun, when the
sun does come out, is notably on a lower pitch; as a result, little sun power
makes its way through the thicker, extended atmosphere. That is the “angle of
the dangle”, axiom which says the more molecules the rays hit the fewer get to
me and my panels.
Also, I am being picked on
because my trees and Merlyn’s have been growing and adding increased shade over
my array of PV cells. I know Bob wants to cut my big maple down to keep the
roots out of my sewer pipes, but a trimming is all he will get due to my love
of Maples. Still, the trees continue to grow much like my midsection. The
beautiful tree is going to stay until some revolution or revelation.
To top that off, in the last 2
months, word has it, the sun only showed her face for a total of 30 hours.
While I have complained endlessly, almost going into deep meaningful prayer,
but knowing the same Almighty I was talking to was responsible for the problem,
I figured anything short of a small lawsuit was futile. I do not recall the good Reverend Funk in
Montello’s Methodist Church telling me threats and celestial intimidation would
pay off, so here I sat disgruntled. It was simply cloudy and no quarter was
given to my plight.
During this solar malaise, my
brother Jeff announced that he had a solar powered yard tractor and it was the
alternative answer to all of his environmental concerns. It seems he purchased
a 1971 Elec-Trak, GE yard tractor powered by six, twelve-volt batteries. Full
of himself like a free ranging Holstein Bull, he said, “Can you imagine this
thing was made 45 years ago and never really took off. It is the answer. I now
have that answer.” Being the motorhead
he is, within minutes of his purchase it was apart and being restored, even
though his entire life was filled with internal combustion engines, and by his
own admission, the electrical contraption left him a touch speechless.
I got his call, “Wait until you
see this baby. It’s fixed, charged and running. All I do is plug it into the
wall, wait a few hours, then is off to the races. Your gonna cry your heart out watching this.”
He said almost patting himself on the back until his miserable arm broke.
Not one to display jealousy, particularly
over the phone, I was a touch green with envy so I was forced to do some
analytical analysis, like strategizing bigly.
So, drawing from years of
pontificating, ruminating and pilfering, it dawned on me that it took a certain
amount of energy, say five barrels of oil to produce his garden tractor and
that includes the lead acid batteries. Once it was in the field, it had to
extract power from the electric grid, which was all produced from coal, natural
gas and uranium. In my conniving mind, while he thought it was “green”, it was
subject to some suspicion. On me saying, “I think you, my friend, are doing
some serious green-washing because the tractor I was eyeing-up, the gas puppy
at the local hardware store, takes the same amount to produce and burns real
clean gasoline and not dirty coal and natural gas.”
It was then he reminded me that
his tractor was, in fact, simpler (Like me he said), easier to repair due to
fewer parts, and the real kicker was, he was going to get a couple of
now-inexpensive solar panels to charge it. “The total energy cost of my panels
and tractor is less than the one you want”. Then in a superior voice, I heard,
“What do you think of that, apocalyptic boy”?
“Free energy from the sun and I
can, plow snow, dig the garden, haul wood and just run around real
stupid----all for no cost and no pollution. While your choking on fumes, I will
be using the batteries to power portable tools like my electric chain saw,
drill holes, and play my Blue Tooth till the sun don’t shine. ” He had the
audacity to remind me it would only take the lousy 30 hours of sun to power
that forty-five year-old tractor for all his needs. He had to rub it in.
I did remind him I had a solar
powered lawn mower but, it looks like for the time being he might have the high
card. They do have electric golf carts and even electric cars, now if I could only
come up with a nice trust fund---maybe some crowd funding to pay for them.
