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Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Intelligence



Intelligence?


     Some days things don’t go where I would like them to go. Meaning it is probably not a good idea to go fishing for a compliment only to realize the wrong question has been asked. My wife of all these years was reading a book called How to think like Leonardo Da Vinci.  In the publication, it states there are seven types of intelligence that range from Mathematical to Intrapersonal (self-knowledge). Examples of these two were Da Vinci and the latter, Mother Teresa. There was another five categories in between including Bodily Kinesthetic, which listed Muhammad Ali.
     I was engulfed in self-absorption trying to write some profound piece when she started carrying on about intelligence. The category most interesting to her, possibly as a way finding her place in the world, was Spatial-Mechanical intelligence which was defined as having acute artistic skills and vision.  Georgia O’Keefe was one example of this. Having always thought O’Keefe was a marginal artist, I’m sure she was finding herself growing in stature if not inflating her ego. “Hey, you aughta read this because I think it might be important. This writer has really put it on the line and is partially explaining why I am the way I am”, she said.
     I personally did not think that was possible as not even a Freud treatise could cover that. I’m thinking, “Good luck on that one. Your acute right brain thinking, has no logical definition.” Lifting my now confused brow in an inquisitive but subtle gesture, maybe a doubting grimace, I thought it only reasonable to ask (remembering she was clearly being personally delusional), “Hey, where do I fall on that list?”
     Without even a slight hesitation she said, “Way down.” Initially, I didn’t really know what she meant but after reflecting on her earlier listing of the four, I realized Mother Teresa was the noted individual on the last category so I felt some consolation, but she repeated “way down” after I marveled on the Good Mother.
At that point, I regrouped as a way of getting a better definition as to where I “really” stood. I needed some confirmation of my place in this whirling sea of humanity. After all, I was somebody. I don’t mean “coulda been somebody” I was somebody, so why should I tolerate this belittlement.
     First on the list was Logical- Mathematical but after some friendly conversation I was reminded that the professor in entry-level calculus said something to the effect of “Mr. Wright have you ever considered taking up finger painting?”  Real funny. Just because I couldn’t differentiate a differential equation doesn’t mean I could paint with my fingers---Oh, maybe that was the point.
Next was Verbal-Linguistics with a guy named Shakespeare listed as some kind of genius. OK. Now we are getting somewhere because after all I am a man of letters as this column well illustrates. Then I hear, “Linguistics! Hell all you can speak is broken English and profanity---and that Spanish is nothing but foulmouthed obscenities you learned in the strawberry fields of Montello.” Like a beaten puppy, I shuffled to the sofa but realized in a moment of glee, at least I could speak in complete sentences, of say ten words and could even pronounce words more than three syllables making me more articulate than at least one of our politicians.
      Off to the Spatial-Mechanical grouping, which admittedly held Michelangelo and Buckminster Fuller. Surely, I can rebuild an engine (as long as it was made before 1962) and I love to take things apart. I am also, by my definition, an artist of some note---no one is sure what note but still. If I had a hat to hang this might be my best shot. I received no confirmation other than a lifted eye and a distorted grin of derision.
     Number four was Musical Intelligence and that did give me pause because of my prowess with the violin but when I saw Mozart’s name on the list it became obvious I should maybe look elsewhere, however, I once perfectly played that one note the same as Itzhak Perlman.  
      The next listing of Bodily-Kinesthetic featured a few famous athletes like Ali. “Hey Ann, I think this may be the one for me. Come on, you know I played basketball until I was forty-eight and I had moves. You know, like I almost dunked the ball without getting hurt. I had finesse. A rugby star maybe?”
     Opps, not such a good thought, “Is that why they called you Dave the Butcher?” Ann responded. “Is it finesse that got you those concussions? Did you garner a cheap plastic trophy for that one? Michael Jordan you ain’t.”
     So the next category was approached and there was Interpersonal-Social, a listing that may have some promise because I like, Gandhi and Mandela have had some political experience and have accomplished some greater social good. “Hey, what was it they used to say about you? Something like, “’When they try to run you out of town again, just get out in front and pretend it is a parade, then wave victoriously to the crowd of angry citizens.”” “Didn’t you threaten to kill Carl because he stole your wood pile?” “Gandhi?”
     Well, the last one was Intrapersonal Intelligence meaning knowing one’s self and your place in the greater world. Seeing this last one was very disturbing because having just gone through the first six and being soundly reminded I had just a teeny-weeny few weaknesses and really didn’t appear to qualify for any of those this was the last straw. Maybe I had none of this one because I thought I did have some of the others and maybe my DNA had given me too much of the delusional gene.
      “Oh, your alright, I guess. Just don’t get too full of yourself. Go get a beer and remember you can’t be a Da Vinci no matter what the book says.”
     Some questions go better unasked.