Cabbage Chuck----Only In America

There are events, and I mean events, that have to be seen at least once in a person's life. Now, I say this not because it is like it is going to the Louvre, or the Chicago Museum of Natural History, or even a concert by Neil Young but because it is out there. It is an event that is so ridiculous that it must been see to really get a feel for what life is like in rural America. Baby, this is Amurika and if can't get into this you are a commie.

This is not small potatoes, no, not small cabbage (there was 42 pounder there) nor small pumpkins, this is in innovation and folly all in one. This involves beer (possibly copious amounts), maybe an incredible presentation of super nachos and an opportunity to see the people that are America, people that are the salt of the earth having a good time doing something that on the surface appears to be really stupid---and even on a metaphorical level it seems stupid to the core. It IS really genuinely stupid, but it is for the good of all---I guess. Not nearly as stupid as our congress, I might add, and more entertaining.


So here is the deal. A group of dudes get together in teams and figure out ways to toss a cabbage as far and as accurately as possible. To me the most interesting are the trebuchets, which of course, is a 13th century device of French derivation, used to lob big stones and disgusting things (I'm sure Monty Python has a film on it) at a castle in an attempt to breach it for plundering prepossess. As can be seen in the photos some folks use primitive construction consisting of logs ropes and stones, others use steel and wheels. They really are advanced catapults with a rope sling attached.

They can chuck a cabbage about 300 yards and it then crashes with a delightful thud and flies into slaw, all to the thunderous applause of the audience. Beer is involved but it is low quality brew of the Milwaukee variety. Chairs of all configuration (except Hepplewhite) are lined up along the shooting line while various individuals watch the action and cheer the casting of vegetables.

Then there is another set of dudes who used compressed air to shoot every thing from pumpkins and logs to cabbage. These are guns that would have brought tears to the Nazis---I mean, can you imagined being killed by a 400 mph pumpkin. There comrades would have laughed at his miserable death. Fill a pumpkin with chemicals and it might have been a bit of a Trojan Horse---oh well!

The big gun, the really big gun could shoot a pumpkin close to a mile and it was almost impossible to see it fly. The best part, the most exciting, was the shooting of the old school bus, the one labeled with Bengals (Green Bay's opponent that weekend), with pumpkins and a rather large logs. This went on for hours with all members of the audience cheering with each blast that nearly tore the antiquated machine in half.

We bought, cabbages, cauliflower and numerous raffle tickets--which appeared to really be the purpose of the event.---generated funds for local community organizations by doing something very absurd. Once in a life time, man.