The Califlower that Went Wild

I am a very handsome 6'3", well sort 6'3" if I don't count shrinking,. Handsome is in the eye of the beholder and I am beholding to no one. Whatever. So, we planted these seeds from France supposed to be some form of Cauliflower and this is what we got, a 5"14",  rangy, headless monster that occupied way too much garden space, so much space that the amount of vegetables lost could cause our scurvy to return by early spring. I like, so hate scurvy.

I lost real space, maybe100 sq/ft and got nothing recognizable as eatable. I don't think a person can even smoke the stuff. I suspect that dried the leaves might be used for thatching on a hut, or maybe a cheap chew with no medicinal value.

I let them grow because by the time it was realized I had a genetically profound, stinking frankenplant it was too late for a recovery, no more planting things. It was a loss. Had I been a subsistence farmer things might have been dire. The dudes with the cart would have been yelling "bring out your dead." One can only imagine what it was like to plant an important plant, say cabbage for kraut, a famine food, only to find it was going ballistic, shot skyward like the shuttle, extended outward over precious soil. Death would have rained down on this monster.

So what is the deal? Do the French not know how to genetically modify their seeds for the American market--I did smuggle them in. Was it the weather? I did plant them a touch late. I will fess up to that, but in truth, it had to be the summer, the new normal, the new heat, the days of temperatures over 90, dispersed rain. A changing climate. Shit! Every day I have to get used to something else. It is hard enough getting old but why weird--that would be the plant.

The loss of potato space could have forced me to eat the neighbors dog, or pine needles. Ann say I could have lived off the fat of the land meaning my pleasantly accumulated fat. "Hell, that would be good for two months." Oh well, the rest of the garden pretty much kicked ass---and we did get some nice Shitaki mushrooms.